Review: I Am Here Now by Barbara Bottner

I Am Here Now by Barbara Bottner

Blurb: “You can’t trust Life to give you decent parents or beautiful eyes, a fine French accent or an outstanding flair for fashion. No, Life does what it wants. It’s sneaky as a thief.

Maisie’s first day of high school should be exciting but all she wants is to escape.

Her world is lonely and chaotic, with an abusive mother and a father who’s rarely there to help.

So when Maisie, who finds refuge in her art, meets the spirited Rachel and her painter mother, she catches a glimpse of a very different world — one full of life, creativity, and love — and latches on.

But as she discovers her strengths through Rachel’s family, Maisie is increasingly desperate, and finds herself risking the very future she’s searching for…”

The novel “I Am Here Now” is written in verse a writing style I myself tend to avoid. This book not only captivated me but made me like the style of writing a bit more than before. P.S there is spoiler so beware but i will include a spoiler free review in my monthly recap!

Maisie throughout the story has to deal with her abusive mother, mostly absent father, a side-switching brother, a Francophile friend and another boy-obsessed one with an artistic mother. Ill break the character’s down a bit because I found them all very complex, interesting and well fleshed out for such a short, poem like novel.

Maisie herself is a character I enjoyed reading and for me was very relatable character both for the way she saw the world, her passion for art and how she processed her struggles and events in life. I think Maisie was someone who embodied that “teenage angst” pretty well especially with the many other factors that are not part of the stereotypical high school experience. I think especially in terms of her art and the way she would practice drawing a sock, wanting to soak the life out of it onto the page, just the way she wanted the most out of life and the way art impacted her, was beautiful and were some of my favorite parts of the book.

I never heard of Pavel Tchelitchew’s painting Hide and Seek before, but once I searched it for myself, I could see why it evoked such emotion in Maisie when she, Rachel, Rachel’s mom and Rachel’s boyfriend went to the Museum of Modern Art. As far as the relationship with her family my feelings are simple. I wish she would have fought her mother more because her mother was heinous but I understand why she didn’t though I wish she wouldn’t of waited till the very end to actually leave. As for her brother, despite him trying to remain on the mother’s good side at the expense of Maisie, I really liked him. Davy was a delicate soul and I liked him all the more for it. As for Joe, her playboy, perfume selling father, I think that he had his reasons for leaving his wife but he shouldn’t of left his kids behind and instead took them when he left. I am glad that at the end he becomes the father he should have been earlier and gives both Davy and Maisie the happy ending they deserve.

Rachel and her mother might have been related but were two separate, not alike in any sense, people. I loved Rachel’s mother Kiki. I think she was a bit problematic but she knew it and got help. She was so valuable in Maisie’s life helping her navigate some really hard events as well as helping to expose her more to that art she loves. Rachel I disliked greatly. First off, she was a brat who hated her mom even though she doesn’t know how good she has it. Not everyone has a kind mother who lets you explore life and tries to teach you as well. Also the whole boy jealousy thing annoyed me, like girl HE’S JUST A MAN! And not only did he sleep with your friend (which side note was wrong on Maisie’s part) but a ton of other girls. Losing a friend purposely over a guy is so dumb and I just thought she was annoying. Loved her mother though.

Richie, the lovely Francophile, is very similar to Maisie, with a troubled family life but he finds solace in her and James Joyce. I love his Irishness like when he starts singing that Irish ballad but yet his love of France, the French language and when James Joyce went to France.

I think that Richie brought Maisie many happy moments and another way to get through her life. When he disappeared after fighting back his abusive father, I much like Maisie, was devastated and confused. I loved when at the end she receives a letter from him finding that he is in France living his dream by following James Joyce.

For the more minor characters: Gino was a jerk and NOT worth it but yet he tore friends apart so I disliked him. As for her grandmother, I think that she was a bit of help but I wish she would have stopped the abuse she saw instead of just standing by; another frustrating character.

The plot of this was really good. I enjoyed following Maisie as she went to her first year of high school and how she navigated her life in the Bronx with all that she lived in. I think that this book was a good look into what it is like to deal with parental abuse as well as what it is like being a teenager who is barely seeing what the world is and could be like. The love aspect, more so lust in Maisie’s case was also interesting but I feel relatable to teens who crave the love the do not see at home. I think the important thing to remember is you do not need someone to “ravish” you but instead a good friend to confide in and trust so you can see the light in an other wise dark life. There is light at the end of the tunnel and can be clearly seen in this novel.

Overall, I enjoyed I Am Here Now by Barbara Bottner both for the complex characters, though I found some annoying, and a plot that kept me interested and gave me a look into another teenage life that can be relatable to many as well as a life that shows there is hope in any situation. Every young character got what they were looking for (Richie and his James Joyce life, Davy, acceptance, and Maisie love and a people who listen) and I think that is what the novel wants us to know and to remember not to lose hope.

Rating: 3.5 stars, would recommend